" d e p o p u l a t i o n i s m " 


" a surf story by charles webster baer " 


call me fishmail .     I have been surfing the central oregon coast for over 60 years .     I grew up surfing the beach breaks of prineville in the 50 ' s .      in the 60 ' s I became a professional big wave surfer at the main outer reef break in la pine .        in the 70 ' s I opened up a surf shop in redmond and pioneered many surf spots in madras and warm springs .       in the 80's I created the central oregon surf club in powell butte and held the first surf contest at lava butte .         in the 90's I retired from the surf media and the surf industry to become an underground surf journalist .        my first job was with underground surf magazine .     they asked me to investigate rumors of the perfect wave that broke over a hundred feet at a secret island in central oregon called bend island .       I said ok .      

I paddled out at a point break in redmond called " junipers "  .      once in the line up I started asking other surfers about bend island .    some of them had not heard of it , other said they thought it was over by elk lake .     one guy said that it was a sacred hawaiian island that for some reason was in the middle of the state of oregon .      one guy said he heard that they grew pot on bend island .      

I took a submarine  to pilot butte reef to talk to the surfers out there .    they said they had never heard of bend island , but I got the impression that they just did not want to tell me about it .    I decided to take a helecopter to aubrey butte river mouth to talk to the surfers there .      the surfers there told me it was a mile south so I took a jet ski there .       

when I got there the waves were great .     light crowd .     we surfed solid 80 foot hawaiian size waves all day .       the locals said today was a small day .      me and the movie crew from underground surf magazine shot hours of video .        I was on one wave for over 5 minutes with a 10 minute barrel .      I looked at a weather report and it said that hurricane depopulationism was headed straight for bend island .     I asked the guys what the name of the break was and they said the name of the wave was called depopulationism .      it appeared as if this story I was writing was actually writing itself .    

the next day , all the biggest surfers were there on bend island for the biggest surf contest ever .      the winner got 400 trillion american dollars after taxes .     the waves were over 150 feet all day .      I won the contest on a wave where I stood on my hands twice .       

after the contest , everyone on bend island promised never to tell anyone where bend island was .