" d e p o p u l a t i o n i s m "
" a surf story by charles webster baer "
call me fishmail . I have been surfing the central oregon coast for over 60 years . I grew up surfing the beach breaks of prineville in the 50 ' s . in the 60 ' s I became a professional big wave surfer at the main outer reef break in la pine . in the 70 ' s I opened up a surf shop in redmond and pioneered many surf spots in madras and warm springs . in the 80's I created the central oregon surf club in powell butte and held the first surf contest at lava butte . in the 90's I retired from the surf media and the surf industry to become an underground surf journalist . my first job was with underground surf magazine . they asked me to investigate rumors of the perfect wave that broke over a hundred feet at a secret island in central oregon called bend island . I said ok .
I paddled out at a point break in redmond called " junipers " . once in the line up I started asking other surfers about bend island . some of them had not heard of it , other said they thought it was over by elk lake . one guy said that it was a sacred hawaiian island that for some reason was in the middle of the state of oregon . one guy said he heard that they grew pot on bend island .
I took a submarine to pilot butte reef to talk to the surfers out there . they said they had never heard of bend island , but I got the impression that they just did not want to tell me about it . I decided to take a helecopter to aubrey butte river mouth to talk to the surfers there . the surfers there told me it was a mile south so I took a jet ski there .
when I got there the waves were great . light crowd . we surfed solid 80 foot hawaiian size waves all day . the locals said today was a small day . me and the movie crew from underground surf magazine shot hours of video . I was on one wave for over 5 minutes with a 10 minute barrel . I looked at a weather report and it said that hurricane depopulationism was headed straight for bend island . I asked the guys what the name of the break was and they said the name of the wave was called depopulationism . it appeared as if this story I was writing was actually writing itself .
the next day , all the biggest surfers were there on bend island for the biggest surf contest ever . the winner got 400 trillion american dollars after taxes . the waves were over 150 feet all day . I won the contest on a wave where I stood on my hands twice .
after the contest , everyone on bend island promised never to tell anyone where bend island was .